About me

Dear readers, 

I am residing in Singapore and am part of the working force that drives the economy. I am an event planner and my job sometimes is physically taxing. I have to run from location to location and head my team as well.

 How did the blog start? 
I have been married for about 6 years, gotten pregnant four times but none resulted in a healthy live birth. The first 3 times, I was spotting around week 5 to 6 and thereafter, losing the pregnancies. I quit for a year but it did not result in any pregnancy. When I returned to the work force, I conceived for the fourth time. The fourth one, I managed to carry the baby to second trimester but it was very sad that I had to go through MTPT (Mid Term Pregnancy Termination) because the baby had Trisomy 21 and possible major defects. I have done all possible tests but we could not find a guaranteed reason to explain the madness that I have gone through. I started writing a blog because I find that this topic is still a taboo in my relatively conservative society. I have been comforted by many overseas blogs so I wanted to start blogging to tell women out there that you are not alone having strange thoughts about yourself, and even your marriage.

How am I now? Currently, I decided to start my life afresh because I have been chasing after the same dream for the past few years and my heart is tired. 

 When Life throws me a lemon, I want to make a lemonade out of it. 

 Regards,
Sophia C

Comments

  1. Unknown12 September 2014 at 06:06

    Hi! I came across your blog and decided to drop u a note. I have been married for 4 yrs and been pregnant 2x (1st blighted ovum; 2nd miscarriage). I have been resting at home almost 2yrs now. I have pcos, endometriosis and anovulation. Have been through 3 rounds of fresh ivf cycle and 3 frozen. We are currently seeing a tcm doctor to balance my hormone. Anyway gd luck to you and hope to hear gd news from u soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown14 September 2014 at 01:42

    Dear Daphne,

    Your courage and determination to go through three rounds of IVF is so remarkable and awe inspiring. Did you manage to find out why you miscarried? I am so hungry for info. I wish you success and hope you will be carrying babies of your own soon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown12 October 2014 at 21:11

    Hey dear,

    I found out early that I was pregnant. Day 30 of my cycle. My husband was on reservice n my mum was overseas, I had nobody to ask n worse of all I started spotting. My MIL assured me that it was ok as she spotted throughout her two pregnancies she said. However I could not shake off the insecurity. Four days later I decided that I couldn't wait to see a gynae so I called Sincere Medical Specialist Centre for women and asked for any gynae. I wound up with Dr Dharshini Gopalakrishnokone. She was simply wonderful n v reassuring. She told me that she would do a scan but since it's so early, I might not see anything but not to panic. Subsequently she put me on hormone pills. That was week 4. Week 5 there was a day where I started bleeding. I rushed down to find her n she put me on progesterone jabs twice a week. I currently am at week 7 n I've been seeing baby grow on the monitor. I believe she's been doing whatever she can to ensure that I can keep the baby. Of course the bills aren't cheap but maybe u can consider seeing her. Seems like the previous gynaes weren't so keen on trying. Sorry for ur loss n hope that u will have a success story soon!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown14 October 2014 at 23:04

    Hi Felicia, I had a progesterone shot for my third pregnancy.keep us updated and have a smooth delivery!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous25 January 2015 at 00:20

    Dear Hope, I know how you feel as I have three miscarriages myself and did my last D&C just yesterday. I feel so grateful to have found your blog as I know that I am not alone. I am also seeing Doctor Choolani. Thanks for all the information you have provided so openly to me and all who want to be mothers.

    Can i just know have you taken the IVIG treatments? Do you have to take them before you get pregnant? I heard that it is really expensive and you have to go to the hospital to do drips? How long do you need to take the IVIG treatments before trying to get pregnant?
    I wish you all the very best. Nobody deserves to go through this and hope your wish of being mummy will come true as soon as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown26 January 2015 at 05:21

    Dear Anonymous, I am very sorry that you have pregnancy losses too. How many weeks were you when you went for DnC? During one of my entries, I wrote about how I made the decision not to go for IVIG because I wanted to try natural for the last time. I went to see TCM Physician Tan Siew Buoy and I relied on her solely for any medicinal intervention. We also went for prayer sessions in church and my auntie and her daughters also prayed for my womb. We went to see a prophet in my church too.

    Once you have recovered from your DnC, Prof Choolani would arrange another meeting and explain all the procedures in details. If you wish to know earlier, first he will run through the tests on you. From the tests, he will ascertain if it is elevated NK cells. If so, in future if you are pregnant, you need to inform Cecile (his nurse) or himself immediately. They will provide you with their mobile numbers. They will get you to test for your beta HCG to ascertain it is a healthy foetus. If the hcg is increasing at a satisfactory rate, they will put you on the IVIG drip and monitor your NK cells. Usually they will drip you once a month and on the avg, around 3 to 4 drips until the placenta takes over. Each drip is 2.5k. After my extensive research, I realise that Dr SF Loh also has his own way to treat NK cells. He used Intralipids drips instead, which sounds a lot safer because it is made up of food oils that is believed to lower NK cells.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown26 January 2015 at 05:23

    By the way, I spoke to a person personally who has used the IVIG drips and have two children. She is with Dr Sheila Vasoo but with another gynae.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1 February 2015 at 23:56

    Hi Hope, Thanks for your reply. Mine is always missed miscarriage meaning that a heartbeat is always detected and stops around 10-11 weeks. After my second miscarriage like you i went to TCM at Eu Yang Sang and spent a lot of money on chinese medication. Didnt work for me. I ate the medicine faithfully everyday on top of hormone jabs and western medication. I hope that you will succeed the next time around. All the very best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown25 March 2015 at 06:43

      Oh I see... This week I am determined to pick myself up. Instead of saying "that is really sad", I shall say "let's abandon our bad feelings and fears behind and treat every pregnancy like a new beginning!" Fighting!

      Delete
  9. Anonymous23 March 2015 at 20:16

    Dear Hope, I happen to chance upon your blog while searching for reviews for Dr Tan Siew Buoy. Earliest appt with her in mid-may. Ridiculous! I had a misc in Oct last year and trying to conceive from then on is still difficult. Sometimes I feel the more I want, the more I won't get which is so depressing. Hard trying to maintain positive, hv been crying a lot. Wished I had a support group. Anyway hope to hear more from you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown25 March 2015 at 06:41

      Dear Anonymous, don't be discouraged by the mid may appointment. It wouldn't be like that once u are her patients. She will schedule regular visits around once a month. For pregnant ladies, once every two weeks. Because of this routine and her expanding patients, the appointment date for new cases for their first appointment is usually a month from the date patient called. U can always go to Singaporemotherhood forum for support. They have chat groups for a lot of cases. I am going to blog about a scary thing soon but recently quite tired. Don't feel depressed! At least the scary thing I heard from my colleague has spurred me on not to be depressed.

      Delete
  10. Starfish28 August 2015 at 08:37

    Dear Hope, I didn't know what you went thru as I stumbled onto your other pages before coming to this page. I have been to other TCM doc and trying for another one. My first was a long wait but trust in God for His timing is the best. U may want to read Jackie Mize's bk titled 'Supernatural childbirth' who has 5 children despite the neg report from her doc.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Unknown29 August 2015 at 09:10

    Dear Starfish, I have read that book before. Alas, the miracle didn't belong to me then but I believe it would be done in future in His sovereign will. My heart is discouraged. There are days when I feel good, days I feel bad...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous11 December 2015 at 00:29

    Dear Hope, I am from Singapore.
    I am 41 and been married for 19 years. Yesterday, we said bye to my lil one. This is my 4th miscarriage and 2nd one this year. They sent the tissues for Karyotyping. I'm not sure if that's going to give me answers. I find comfort reading your thoughts and posts. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown16 December 2015 at 00:55

      Hi I am sorry to hear that u r going through a difficult time. Other than a huge virtual hug, I am unable to offer u any other suggestions cos I am still cruising. U take care! I would love to hear from u about your updates.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous23 December 2015 at 11:44

      Dear Hope,
      Thank you for your hug.

      They were unable to proceed with the test. Seems like the tissue sample collected was not the correct one. I probably passed out fetal tissues before reaching hospital. In a way I'm relieved and I'm not sure why. Probably because, I don't think I want to know the reasons for now.

      I am coping and now back to routine. I accept that no amount of bedrest, or injections can prevent miscarriage if it's not meant to be. I accept that this is Allah's plan for me and Allah know best and Allah will not test me beyond what I can handle.

      To be pregnant at this age is already such a wonderful gift. I am really thankful that I can get to experience how it was like to be pregnant, to experience morning sickness, to see my baby ultrasound. This experience albeit short and sad is priceless nonetheless. We are not trying at the moment. Gynae said to wait for at least 2 menses cycle before trying again. We have an appointment with recurring pregnancy loss clinic next March. For now, I have started taking Blackmores Conceive Well Gold and try to lead a less stressful life which is not possible due to the nature of my job.

      TIll then, you take care too, big Hug.

      Delete
    3. Unknown23 December 2015 at 16:44

      Hi annoymous,

      I went for the tests by the recurrent loss clinic. They will be able to run the tests appropriate for u. Wishing u the best and "Indeed Allah is with those who patiently endure." Quran 8: 46

      Delete
  13. KKK26 December 2015 at 21:03

    Dear Hope,
    I've been searching about Tan Siew Buoy and came across to your blog. It is very helpful for us who going through TTC journey. I've been married for more than 6 years and trying to conceive for 2 years. I've stupid irregular period too it is always between 35 to 50 days :(. Last year I seen Dr adrian Woodworth from CCK Thomson Women Clinic and after 6 months, since I didn't have any good news, he recommended me to Dr Paul Tseng from Thomson Medical Centre. Dr Paul is really taking care to the patients and his nurse are very kind and helpful too. I tried my first IUI and unluckily it was failed :(. Even though Dr Paul is ok, I don't have enough leave and MC to see him multiple appointments during weekdays:(. So I m thinking to change TCM clinic. I just want to say "You are not alone" in this journey. Since you have very good heart to share your experiences to others, hope you will success very soon.

    Fighting!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown26 December 2015 at 21:23

      Dear KKK, it is great to see people leaving comments online for me! I am not doing any active trying recently but occasionally still wondered when I should start my active trying again. Wishing u all the best! Do update me about your progress! Recently I discovered that exercising regulates my periods.

      Delete

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