Land of Lemons

It was the time of the month again! Not my period but my monthly appointment with Dr Tan Siew Buoy. I arrived at 5.10 pm and oh gosh! i WAITED until 6.30 pm for my turn. I overheard her clear voice in the waiting area. I like to call it a holding area because it was very narrow. She was speaking very slowly to every patient. I passed my time playing Fun Run and connecting the crosses on my chart. I felt uncomfortable because I was holding my pee. My period has not arrived and I knew in my guts that she would ask me to take the pregnancy test - her famous $3.50 pregnancy test which I rejected before and got chided. So, I knew that I would have to take the test later and I would need my pee. Interestingly, the patient before me also needed to take a pregnancy test. I heard some exclamation from the doctor and the patient went out of the consultation room with a plastic cup. While the patient went to take the test in the toilet obviously, I was directed into the consultation room.

Okay. Let's face it. I have not been able to get pregnant since last May 2013. That means 17 months. I started seeing Dr Tan Siew Buoy in July. That means I have seen her for 15 months. Let's do the counting. First 3 months after May - Tiao body and she says do not try yet Sept and Oct - Emotionally not ready so I did not really had intercourse over an intensive period. Only on and off That leaves us with 10 months. In Nov, I was sick. 9 months left. I went overseas. I was very sick and developed asthma. I took asthma inhalers for 3 months which messed up my cycles. 6 months Because I did not take the inhalers, I was sick for 2 months although my cycles were not very far off. 4 months Out of 4 months, 2 months, I missed the golden days that she circled for intercourse because I was freaking tired and super no mood on those days. That leaves us with 2 months. Out of 2 months, I fell sick and had high fever during one month. Last month My mum contracte

I just returned from KKH after visiting my Mom. She has been warded for 10 days for removing her uterus with the growth and her lymph nodes. It has been one hell of a journey. For the first 9 days, she was freaking out and frail and in pain while being hooked up to various tubes. She was scared and nice. Today she got better and returned to her usual antsy self, berating at my tired father and to the rest of us, very rude and unappreciative of our daily visits. I was tired, disappointed and sad. During her terrible ordeal of receiving news of her cancer, enduring the operation and subsequently ileus, she accepted Christ. How do you accept Christ? Basically, you just have to say a simple prayer. I will write a post on how to receive Christ.  How to receive Christ?  She prayed to God every time she felt fear and during her hospital stay, she prayed for God to help her out of difficult situations. We are still unsure if she need further treatment like chemotherapy. The doctor mentioned

Have you ever read Harry Porter? The characters always referred to the most evil wizard as "He who must not be named" because they were so frightened of him. In our modern day context, the word that no one wants to hear or say is CANCER. Today is a dark dark day. We went to KK hospital with my mum to receive her biopsy results. My sister and I were mentally prepared because it was odd for the hospital to want to see us if it is benign. True enough, the word that we do not want to say or hear was uttered by the doctor. "Auntie, yes it is cancer but do not worry. I have done this for many years. I will help you" were the first words the doctor uttered when he sat her down. After the diagnosis, a dark cloud had decided to hang over my head and everything was tinted with black. Outwardly, we appeared strong for my mum but inwardly, I wanted to curse and swear. Once again, why us? The doctor did not share much about the biopsy results. I was thinking it could be