Land of Lemons

In a flash, you and I, are in May. We are approaching the halfway mark of 2015 and I could not help but wonder, 2015 once again, is not The Year. No matter how hard my heart longs for each passing year to be The Year, every year turns out to be a continuous cycle of renewal of hope. I am trying to find a new blog title because I am so sick of hoping. It means that I haven't arrived. But what, I have yet to come up with anything meaningful. I have not written for some weeks because I have not mustered up anything positive to share with you. Sometimes, I feel that I am such a drag if I continue to air my grievances online. Or maybe, I am sick of myself. Finally ... something nice to write about. I broke the cycle of falling ill, recovering and falling ill. Strangely, it happened after my pastor told me to not have high expectations on my wounded physical body. I slept better too. I also changed the cover page of my blog. After such a painful experience, I need to start afresh f...

Today I am in a better place so I shall talk about something that is positive! For those who have been following my blog since Day 1, you will remember that Dr Mahesh has diagnosed me to have high NK cells - 18% which is 6% higher than the acceptable range. I guess I have been avoiding the topic for a year so it did not occur to me to find out apart from IVIG, the other methods that could help too. Recently, through forums, I learnt that Intralipids is different from IVIG. I know, I know that I am suaku. But whenever I heard drips, I thought they refer to the same thing but NO NO NO. Intralipids is made up fatty acids from soy bean oil, egg yolk, glycerin and water. Check this article out. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2265781/Intralipid-infusion-therapy-Couple-longed-son-following-failed-cycles-IVF--thanks-drip-containing-EGG-YOLK.html This article explains what glycerin is. http://www.livestrong.com/article/327146-sources-of-glycerine/ Basically, it is oil derived f...

It all started with some coffee talk in the staff canteen. It was hilarious. I was with two male colleagues and another female colleague. They were asking me why I changed my whatsapp photo into a couple pic and I told them that I noticed that those couple friends who act all lovey on social media and post their couple pics on whatsapp and whatever media all have kids! I know I am sounding like a lunatic but hey, it gave me an inspiration for this post. All those stupid silly ridiculous ideas we have tried just to increase our chances by that tiny bit every month. SO .... I decided to choose the most blissful looking couple photo I had and used that as my whatsapp profile pic. I told my hub about it and he gleefully followed suit and played along with my silly idea. We had wanted to change our FB pics too but in the end too lazy. At the table, my colleague who was also trying to have kids, texted her hub about this silly idea and he too, immediately changed his photo pic. So hilarious!...

DAY 1 TO DAY 5 This is the period whereby your pituitary gland stimulate your 10 to 15 maturing eggs. I have to tell myself "It is a fresh beginning and a beautiful month!" Advice for Damp type I feel that my body is the damp type so I need to exercise to oxygenate my body. It is best that I avoid raw food, cold food, processed food, excess salt, too much soya, bananas, peanuts, oily nuts, cow's milk, ice-cream. Do not drink too much water with food. I have to eat more barley, anchovy, button mushrooms, celery, corn, garlic, jasmine tea, lemon, mackerel, onion, parsley, pumpkin, radish, turnip. Advice for Heat type I also think that my body is the heaty type. I am supposed to not exercise during Day 1 to 5 (this is in conflict with damp! So which one should I follow?) I can drink peppermint tea. I should avoid caffeine. Oops I love my strong coffee. Raw food is good for people who are heaty! Huh? This is in conflict with damp again! I should eat more f...

I have just gotten back from two short trips back to back and felt so refreshed! For the first trip, I went back to Sentosa and had such a fun and relaxing time with my husband. We stayed in Siloso Resort and the environment is soooo perfect for a romantic romp under the sheets. Everyday, we swam, relaxed, ate nice meals. It happened to be during my ovulation period and I am trying my utmost best not to stress myself by wanting to get pregnant - so I am going to practise affirming myself and visualise positive things. Affirming myself aloud ...  My ovaries are healthy. I do not have PCO. My ovaries are releasing an egg every month. I WILL become pregnant when the environment is conducive. (I watched LUCY the movie and I was so awe struck by what the professor said - when the environment in living things is conducive, the cells multiply and living things start to reproduce offsprings to pass on the information in the form of DNA. When the environment is not conducive, the cells ...

Scriptures concerning Fertility and Childbirth Is it God's will for me to conceive and give birth to children? Yes, absolutely, The first command God gave to mankind was to "be fruitful and multiply." Genesis 1:28  Then God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground." Genesis 9:1 After the flood God again commanded Noah and his family and said, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth." God loves children!  Fertility and children were always viewed as blessings in the Bible. It is not God's will to withhold any blessing from you. Psalm 84:11   For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. Jesus loves infants and children! Luke 18:15-16   Then they also brought  infants  to Him ...

It is the time of the month to purge the emotional toxic out of my body. Today I woke up with 36.4. Almost instantly, I knew that today my period is going to knock on my door because my temp has been above 36.6 for about two weeks. Finally I spotted. Don't get me wrong that I feel sad that my period is coming. I felt quite happy because I have been stuffing myself with antibiotics, panadols, runny nose meds this cycle. If I were to fall pregnant, I would have been worried if my child would be affected. If my period arrives tomorrow, it would be a 36 day cycle. Not too bad for someone who had fallen sick. For the past two and 8 months, I have been so obsessed with observing my white discharge, temperature and period. I have never paid more attention to it before that. I am not so uptight now as compared to when I first started my route to become a frenzied goggle finder on anything that has to do with fertility and miscarriages. Now, I have mellowed. Two things and images that...

I have shared in my previous post that it is important to fill our mind with positive thoughts. Apart from taking control of our mind, it is important to take control of our lifestyle too! Today I would be blogging about lifestyle changes from the various sources that I have come across or from personal experiences. 1. Avoiding Overwork I came across an interesting book that discourages women from going to the gym after work to exercise to the point of exhaustion. I have always thought that to sweat it out after work is considered very healthy but this book says that such workouts will deplete our bodies of energy. The book recommends exercising in the morning if possible. Evenings are for recuperation. It recommends walking and yoga stretches instead and also suggested some "fertile activities" - holidays, painting, writing courses, gardening, cooking (anything that is a creative distraction. Fertile activities allow women to soften and to be less controlled and rigid...

Some entries ago, I have promised that I would post an entry on IVIG. For those sweeties out there who have been following my blog, you would have known that IVIG is the recommended procedure by my gynae when I am pregnant. I am supposed to get IVIG drip estimated four drips during my first trimester in order to sustain my pregnancy. But alas, in this year of break from work, I did not manage to get pregnant so I forgot about  my promise to you. Today, on a lazy Saturday, I remembered my promise. Why do I need to research on IVIG and do a post? Why can't I research on wikipedia the relationship between IVIG and pregnancy? Because such articles are usually biased towards a view. If I find out based on the questions in my head, I would have a clearer understanding. Have you ever had this experience that when you are desperately finding something, you just cannot find it no matter what you do or how much you try? The moment you stop looking for it, it will pop up one day and delight...

Over the past two years, I have evolved from a fertility noob to a fertility expert in terms of knowledge. To save you time, I have decided to summarise all that I have found out from friends and online. I know some of you are as hungry for information as I once did because the doctor's advice seemed so stingy. Fertility Food My friend who has a blocked tube and had a cyst removed and also suffering from anovulation (no ovulation occurring but her period still came) is celebrating her daughter's first birthday next month. As mentioned in my previous post, she managed to conceive on her third attempt on clomid under Dr SF Loh.  During her third attempt, she heard from her friend who managed to conceive by eating ROYAL JELLY - a superfood for boosting fertility. During my third failed pregnancy, I managed to get a positive by eating royal jelly too. My colleague who was scheduled to have surgery on her tubes but she decided to visit TCM physician Tan Siew Lan and not do the...

In order for me to get pregnant, my health is very important. Why did my childhood asthma return to haunt me? I have tried asthma medications and they interfered with my cycles. I really need natural therapies! FOOD THERAPY First of all, I shall always start with the spiritual aspect. What does the bible say about healthy food? In Leviticus, the Lord has told Moses what is clean and unclean food. You can refer to this website for the bible verses. I have summarised them. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11 Eat animals that have divided hoofs and chew cud. Examples - No hyrax, camel, rabbit and PIG!  Eat sea creatures that swim and have scales and fins. No prawns, crabs, stingrays, clams etc???? No wonder these food are a no no for people prone to allergies. Specific birds are listed as unclean e.g. raven, osprey, vultures, owls, bats. I am not interested to list them because I don't think anybody would eat them. Wo...

Since stress leads to histamines released and increase in cortisol which would affect the menstrual cycle which would affect fertility, I shall do a post on stress management because I cannot simply tell myself "be good girl, don't stress k?" First I will look at it from a spiritual point of view. How to have joy? Proverbs 15: 13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine. A crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 18:14 The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. So, we understand now that a joyful heart is the key to a healthy body. How do we go about allowing God to heal the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit? If your heart has been broken due to a relationship...

Since Jan, I have been suffering from asthma everyday. Having asthma prevents me from trying for a baby because the inhalers I have taken disrupted the beautiful menstrual cycles that Dr Tan Siew Buoy have built up.  As a result, I read quite a lot of articles on asthma. I must recover from asthma if I want to have any hope of conceiving. I discovered that people with irregular cycles tend to have asthma as well. I used to have childhood and teens asthma. This is what I have read so far, which I think explains the link between the two. Stress releases histamines http://www.livestrong.com/article/549502-severe-stress-induced-allergic-reactions/ http://voices.yahoo.com/what-histamines-why-we-them-491407.html?cat=68 Stress releases histamines and histamines are the chemical substances in the body that will cause allergic reactions like asthma. Histamines are needed to start inflammation so that the body can fight off the invaders, parasites and infection. Emotional highs woul...