Ridiculous Things I or We have done to make ourselves more fertile

It all started with some coffee talk in the staff canteen. It was hilarious. I was with two male colleagues and another female colleague. They were asking me why I changed my whatsapp photo into a couple pic and I told them that I noticed that those couple friends who act all lovey on social media and post their couple pics on whatsapp and whatever media all have kids! I know I am sounding like a lunatic but hey, it gave me an inspiration for this post. All those stupid silly ridiculous ideas we have tried just to increase our chances by that tiny bit every month. SO .... I decided to choose the most blissful looking couple photo I had and used that as my whatsapp profile pic. I told my hub about it and he gleefully followed suit and played along with my silly idea. We had wanted to change our FB pics too but in the end too lazy. At the table, my colleague who was also trying to have kids, texted her hub about this silly idea and he too, immediately changed his photo pic. So hilarious!!!

Then male colleague A commented that instead of changing profile pic, we should xi bai bai tonight. Male Colleague B burst out laughing. I really could not catch it. By the cheeky grins, it should be some dirty joke. In all innocence, I asked,"what is Xi Bai Bai?" to my Female colleague. She told me that Bai means Chee Bye in hokkien (apologies for the rough language), Xi means wash. So it means we should wash our vaginas to get ready for sex... SO, I looked at her and asked, "Do you do that every time before sex?" The she burst out laughing and said, "No". I burst out laughing and said, "No too but I will ask him to wash his dick because I am scared of UTI". She laughed harder and said, "So you are not Xi Bai Bai, You are Xi Jiao Jiao" and she happily went to tell that particular male colleague whom was closer to us, "Hey we did not understand your joke because we cannot relate! You are the cleanliness freak!"

SO, DO YOU? I am so curious.

Other than dumb things like change whatsapp photo and xi BB, after sex, it was soooooooooooooooooo unromantic! In order not to dirty our very expensive mattress, Hub would jump out of bed, go to the toilet, get some toilet paper for me to put under my buttock so that the sperm would not leak onto the bed. After this careful preparation, I would attempt to cycle in the air for a while and lift my butt up to encourage the spermies to swim towards where they should. Then I would put a pillow or rolled a towel to put under my butt.

I have tried the romantic way too whenever we go for our staycation in Sentosa. Since the mattress does not belong to us, (ugly singaporean), we would be able to be more romantic. At least, we can lie in bed together longer and not rush to get toilet paper.

In the early stage of the "I am trying to conceive" journey, I pasted baby posters in my master bedroom. CREEPY. I remembered I specially selected Asian looking cute babies because I was afraid that my baby would look Ang Moh if I choose blonde hair ones. I thought of the baby posters because one of the TCMs -Dr Ang Mui Choo, told me that looking at baby photos would boost my chances of conceiving. After some setbacks, I took the posters down and hid them on top of my book shelves, collecting dust. Looking back, my hub might have thought I have gone bonkers.

There was once, on the pretext of shopping for my friend's baby one month celebration, I bought an expensive wall decorations from Fisher Price. My husband thought that I had bought for my friend but it is still lying under the study table because I had wanted to give it to my baby in future. I thought that it would be a source of motivation for me hahahaha.

My close friends also wished that I would have my own kids soon so whenever there is a chance, for example, visiting newborns, they would always ask me to carry the newborn because they claim that they have tried it and it worked. So, I obediently carried even though I was so afraid that I would hurt the cute small bundle because he was so fragile! Closely related to carrying newborn is touching pregnant mothers' tummies! They would ask me to touch their tummies or some other friend's tummies for good luck! And yes, I have tried, but of course, with permission and invitation. I would not ask to touch mummies' tummies on my own. I am so shy!

So far, these are the few funny ideas that I have tried. Have you tried some funny ideas yourselves?