Heavy Bleeding during pregnancy

Today I reported for work and it is those type of work whereby there would be long stretches of not doing anything. We are a team of three and my colleague M brought along a book, me a laptop and newspapers and N, brought nothing. Let me tell you something about N. Let's call her Nurina. She is pregnant now. Although she is three months old pregnant, she looks like she is 11 months. I am not trying to be mean because I want to give hope to those sistas out there who are very overweight, that Nurina, who looks very huge, is pregnant! I am so happy for Nurina because she had a previous miscarriage.

Because of the long stretches of having nothing to do because we had no customers, we started chatting. I knew that M was not close to Nurina and I knew that Nurina just crossed her 13 week. So when M went away to get something, I took the chance to ask after Nurina. I knew she was spotting some time back so I asked her about her spotting. Guess what? She told me it was not spotting! It was freaking FRESH BLOOD with BLOODY CLOTS. Her gynae said that it was probably due to her overworking herself and stressing herself.

It happened around her 7 and 8 week of pregnancy. The heartbeat has already been detected prior to the bleeding. Her gynae checked the baby's heartbeat and it was normal despite the heavy bleeding. She gave Nurina a progesterone jab and subsequently tablets. I asked Nurina if she was worried and she nodded her head furiously. Despite nodding her head furiously, I was so curious if she was truly worried because Nurina was never ever on leave! So I asked her why her gynae had not ordered bed rest. I thought that was the usual protocol. Nurina replied that her gynae had advised her to be on bed rest but she did not do so because she was in charge of some project during that period! So, her gynae reminded her not to overexert herself and to take things easy. WHAT? If I were her, I would do whatever the gynae suggested! But now, she had CLEARED her first trimester and the bleeding had stopped. Everything returned to normal despite her going to work in her heavy bleeding state.

Hmmm, some inspirations I have gotten from Nurina's story. Even if there is heavy bleeding, no need to gia (be afraid) first - as long as baby heartbeat is there and there is some jab, it is ok. The most significant inspiration was that although Nurina was worried, she was CHILLS (relaxed) enough to return to work. That might have taken her attention off her bleeding. Lastly, even if you are damn fat, you can be pregnant too!

I feel that sometimes we really need to learn from some of our Malay friends - they are usually calmer, friendlier, warmer, more helpful and chills better and most importantly, most of them are super fertile! They marry young and have many kids!

But even if I turn back the clock, I cannot imagine myself marrying any younger because that would mean I would not marry my hub. If I could turn back the clock, I would pay more attention to my physical body and mental health. I admit that after marriage, I ate more junk food, exercise much lesser and I was always overworked and unhappy. I always obsessed over not able to do the things I wanted and with such physical body and mind, I tried to conceive. If I could turn back time, I wished I could have started having kids the moment I got married. But if you watched San Ge Yuan Wang, you would have known that wishing for your desires through some wishing coins almost always will cost you something else.

Remember I mentioned that I was reading this Anti Cancer book, the author left his wife and kid because his wife paid so much attention to his son that the marriage was no longer giving him the love and support he needed so he filed for divorce. See, sometimes a kid can CAUSE A DIVORCE. Sorry, let me correct myself - the wife's neglect of the husband. But no leh, how can we blame the victim? Obviously, this author has not accepted his husbandly and fatherly responsibilities wholeheartedly. This wife walked with him through his first brain cancer. After his remission, they had a kid. Just when he divorced his wife, he had a relapse.

Anyway, I started reading the bible again because I just shared with my mother to read the bible if she was afraid. So I went to read my fav Charles Spurgeon devotional book. It was on FEAR! Today I read about COURAGE. So appt!

"Lurking in the shadows around every imaginable corner. It threatens to poison your inner peach and outward poise."

The verse suggested for reading was Psalm 27. Beautiful

Psalm 27

Of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked advance against me
    to devour[a] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.

7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.

13 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

"Courage. That is another word for inner strength, presence of mind against ALL ODDS, determination to hang in there, to venture, to persevere, WITHSTAND HARDSHIP."

Dear God,

Thank you for this journey of faith. Thank you for all the goodness in my life. Forgive me of my sins when I had been faithless, angry, disappointed and wrong mindsets. Please give me the desire of my heart as I delight myself in reading your word. Please breathe life into my womb and restore my body and mind. I remove fear, worry, stress and cast it out of my body and mind. Whenever I feel anxious, I will look to you and pray. Please make right my paths and let your will be done in my life. Please touch my readers and heal them physically and emotionally. Please heal their hearts which had been scarred by disappointments. Please heal their minds who had been crippled by helplessness. Jesus, I cry out to you, please help us! In Jesus's name, Amen.