Flashback Week 12 -Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS)

I am blogging this to share with readers who want to know the actual procedure in greater detail.

  1. Reported to NUH Fetal Care centre and waited for Prof to arrive
  2. Battled with fear. I read about it online. I chatted with a friend. I knew there would be no excruciating pain but I was very scared. I could not even trace where the fear came from.
  3. Finally my turn. Butterflies in stomach.
  4. It was the same sonographer. I made sure I addressed her loudly,"Hello, DOCTOR!"
  5. I thought I saw a smile creep into her face.
  6. Sonographer did a scan and NT was the same but baby has grown by a day. Cystic hygroma still stuck to the neck
  7. Another nurse arrived. Both of them prepared me for the CVS like informing me that my hands have to be placed above my head and briefly the procedure. 
  8. Prof arrived with another female doctor. 
  9. Prof did a scan to locate the placenta. 
  10. The mood was like a market because the medical staff were talking and Prof was in a rush because he had quite a few CVS to complete that day. 
  11. When he started the CVS, I placed my hands above my heard and decided to clasp my hands together. I shut my eyes all the way because I was scared. I kept praying a verse in the bible, "Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid" in my heart throughout the whole procedure.
  12. Prof informed me that he was going to inject the Local Anaesthesia and it would hurt like how it hurt during a tooth extraction. I had not gone for tooth extraction so it was irrelevant. It was as painful as a bad injection jab. I thought it was more painful than a progesterone jab in the buttocks.
  13. He then inserted a thin tube (how I do not know) below my tummy. I could feel that he was sucking some samples of the placenta because I could hear sucking sounds. He kept asking the other doctor for some measurements and to make sure they have sufficient samples.
  14. I could feel the tube being inserted as he made a few jerking movements downwards. It was not pain but a very uncomfortable sensation. The closest comparison was a bad session of acupuncture whereby the physician twill the needle to stimulate the nerves.
  15. My hub said that he could see on the monitor that the needle was near the baby's head. It was a scary moment. In my heart, I trusted Prof wholeheartedly because I have heard and read many rave reviews about his skills.
  16. After the procedure, Prof scanned the baby for his heartbeat and said all looks good and baby is still bouncing around.
  17. He told me to rest for the next two days and NUH provided a list of things that I should not do which included lifting heavy things. The results would be out in two days time and NUH would call me. I told him that I actually had an appointment with him in three days time and he said that it would be better if he could give me the results face to face.
  18. For the next two days, I felt a slight sensation in my tummy. I forgot about it and lay flat on my stomach. I experienced such a sharp pain that I dared not turn around. So, do make sure every movement is slow and careful.
Some one also approached us to inform us that the CVS results would be out in two weeks time. I was puzzled and told her that Prof had mentioned that it would be out in two days time and she asked us if we had wanted the express results and we nodded. She informed us that in two days time, we would only receive a few results. The other results would be ready in two weeks time.

I have already posted my results in my previous posts. But the most shocking thing was that the baby was not a boy. Baby was a girl. Somehow, my desires might have played with my mind and I had heard or seen the "supernatural signs" wrongly.

I have regurgitated a few posts in one sitting. I hope I can finally sleep. I did contemplate taking up NUH offer to see a psychologist who could do therapy but what if he or she refers me to a psychiatrist? I just want to talk to someone badly, someone not my friend. Maybe I could call SOS again. 

Comments

  1. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 21:10

    I'm so sorry. I had a missed miscarriage recently too. My baby scan was normal at 7+ weeks with a normal heart beat. When I went for my rescan 2 weeks later, baby had no heartbeat and only measured 8 weeks. Meaning that he had died a few days after my first scan but I had no bleeding, no cramp, nothing at all. It was as if he didn't want to leave too. The doctors then told me that it was most likley due to chromosomal abnormalities and it's better that they baby chose to leave instead of me having to decide later. I couldn't understand how that then. After reading your post, I think I can appreciate what they were trying to say, but the pain still doesn't go away. I too am kept awake at night by flashbacks, mine is that of the fateful day when the ultrasound showed a dark shape instead of a flicking heart and that was the moment I knew and when I too descended into hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown18 March 2015 at 05:51

      Dear Anonymous, thanks for leaving a note. Everyone has their own unique way of coping. I hope you find your way soon. Update me when u found a solution k? I am glad what I have written has at least helped u to appreciate what they were trying to say... I did appreciated it only after the recent episode. Previously, I wanted to roll my eyes. Do you know for another group of people who can't achieve pregnancy, they would rather have a miscarriage than to not get pregnant at all? I have a friend in real life like this, she says she wants to feel the joy of seeing a positive pregnancy test even if she knows it wouldn't last.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 20:11

      I actually conceive around the same time as you, just that my child left me earlier, so I've been dealing with this loss a bit longer. What surprised me most was that going back to work actually helped. I had initally dreaded going back to my office and the first day was hard, but having something to do helped time pass faster. When I stay at home, I can't sleep, can't do anything and my mind would go back to those images replaying all the time.
      My best friend, who conceive 1 month before me also told me that I'm "more fortunate" to have at least gotten pregnant, there are worse couples who couldn't even make it to that first step. Personally, I don't know think its a matter of who had it worst, all are sad - that's all. I too want to stay anonymous, but we can chat here or over at the singapore motherhood forum if you wish. Talking about it at least helps to keep me sane.

      Delete
  2. Gillian16 March 2015 at 23:39

    I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pain. I wrote on one of your earlier entries (I'm the one who is 31 this year and had 2 first trimester miscarriages in June 2013 and June 2014). Sending you lots and lots of hugs. <3 It is so painful for us who are still waiting for our first child (though we know in our hearts that we have angels up in heaven too).

    Take care and if you are open to communicating over whatsapp, please let me know (and I will send you my number over email). I think it helps to have an outlet...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joanna18 March 2015 at 00:12

      Hi Gillian, I too have had 2 first trimester miscarriages. Would you like to connect with me, and we can talk more?

      Delete
    2. Gillian18 March 2015 at 01:13

      Hello Joanna, sure! Let me have your email address and I text you my number?

      Delete
    3. Unknown18 March 2015 at 05:57

      Dear Gillian,

      Thank you for the generous gesture. I am so tempted to say yes because it would be so wonderful to support each other. But I cannot compromise my anonymity. I once let my friend who has problems in reproduction view my blog, after that, I don't know why, I don't feel like blogging anymore. In the end, I copied and pasted my entries onto another blog and started this new one. If only there is an app that allows anonymous chatting via phone ... I am so comforted that Joanna and you have made contact... At least, my bad experiences have provided some comfort in cyber space.

      Delete
    4. Joanna1 April 2015 at 01:54

      Hi Gillian,
      Sorry I thought I sent my email address but clearly I didn't! Here's my email address jtrtlee@gmail.com. Hope to hear from you soon!

      Delete
  3. Joanna18 March 2015 at 00:10

    Once again, I'm so sorry. Two losses are bad enough for me, at the second one, I really felt like the world around me was crumbling, so I cannot imagine what it must have been like for you. I don't know if the pain will go away for us, but I hope that it will lessen over time, and we continue to pray and hope that God will send us a little one soon. Do take care, and feel free to reach out to me if you want someone to talk to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown18 March 2015 at 06:00

      Hi Joanna,

      I have a friend who has to terminate her pregnancies a few times due to some medical issues but she said that she coped using the heartless way, which is to pretend that her pregnancies were not there? and she found that she could cope well. She felt that I felt pain because I took it too personally and did not distance myself from the pregnancy. I used to think I was weak and lousy as compared to her until I went to read blogs and found that I wasn't alone. Because, the pain was just there. Not happy means not happy. I don't know how to pretend to distance myself and be happy.

      Delete
    2. Joanna18 March 2015 at 20:58

      I don't think there is a need for you to pretend to be happy if you're not. You're entitled to feel upset and sad.I don't really understand the concept of distancing yourself from the pregnancy. At time of conception, the baby is already ours. Ours to love. I do think it's important for us to try and move on from the pain though. It's definitely not easy, and something I'm still working on, but I try and look ahead.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 04:16

    UAP here.
    I think it would be good for you to call SOS. I called them before and it really gave me a lot of relief. The pain and the loss is toohurtful for you, you really need to love yourself first and care for yourself first before life can go on.
    I really pray for you that you will be taken out of sadness soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown22 December 2015 at 05:24

      Hi UAP! I am not sure if u could be reached in this way. How r u? I changed my blog address to findingsophiec.blogspot.sg

      Delete
  5. Unknown18 March 2015 at 06:03

    Hello UAP! U called SOS before? Great, maybe I will call them. I don't know if they want to handle such issues. I called them like 10 years ago when I was dating someone that I suspected had violent tendencies. I blogged about it too in one of the entries. Yeah that call was great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous19 March 2015 at 18:47

      Yup, I called them before when I had a big fight with my husband. I was just trying my luck because I tried once many years back and my call did not get through. The person on the other line was very nice and surprisingly it was a guy with a very nice voice and very patient and gentle so he even gave me some helplines that I can go to, like counselling centres.
      Give it a try if you want. It is a start to begin with, to try and open up and talk to someone you don't know and won't see. When we don't know the person, the pressure is lesser. And If you feel good about it, maybe can take up their suggestions to see other counselling help.

      Delete
  6. asecondchance18 March 2015 at 16:42

    If u find yourself slipping into depression and not able to sleep at night，see a psychologist may help. What U need most is someone to talk to, someone whom U can pour your sorrows . Even if she recommend U to see a physchistriast U can always reject n I am sure they won't force U. Don't bottle up too much till U can't take it n break down ok.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown18 March 2015 at 20:55

    Actually I FEEL okay but sometimes for no reason, I will cry even when I was not consciously thinking about it. Like driving halfway and listening to music, sleeping, or walking.. But I don't feel sad... I still love to eat lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. isaac3920 April 2015 at 00:04

    I have 2 abortions due to chromosomal disorders and a miscarriage in 2012, 2013 and 2014. I understand your pain. Rachel's vineyard - a retreat for those who have gone through abortions is a very good way of telling your story, working out your emotions. While it is a Catholic ministry, it welcomes anyone so long as the participants understand that all exercises and ministry are biblical based. I find great relief when I finally find a group where I can be free to share and not be judged for it. another ministry is child bereavement support group for all who have lost a child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown21 April 2015 at 07:15

      Hi Isaac 39... Thank you for sharing these two avenues. Would you mind sharing what was the cause of your losses and how are you overcoming them?

      Delete
    2. isaac3910 May 2015 at 19:55

      Sorry for late reply. my 1st baby is Down Syndrome, 2nd baby is Edward syndrome. I have just volunteered at Rachel vineyard retreat and it helps to know I am not alone (one participant has an abortion as her baby is Edward syndrome) and am able to share my experience. The journey is not easy and even friends cannot understand. I had so much anger in me (angry with God) and grief as well. I went for inner healing at Healing Room and went for a personal retreat (solitude time with God). All of these combined help me to maintain my sanity.

      Delete
    3. Unknown13 May 2015 at 00:51

      Hello! Thanks for replying. Did u manage to find out why the babies' chromosomes are abnormal? Doc say it is by fluke? Yah I feel very lonely at times so I agree with u on the part that friends don't understand.

      Delete
    4. isaac3914 May 2015 at 21:14

      by chance. I did a battery of genetic tests, etc. we are normal. have you done any genetic tests for both you and your husband? good to find out.

      Delete
    5. Unknown15 May 2015 at 05:44

      Yeah we did our DNA for genetic abnormality in chromosomes... and it is normal... I wonder why... I am suspecting my eggs are unhealthy

      Delete
  9. Anonymous28 April 2015 at 22:21

    Stumbled upon your blog and it just opened my floodgates. I carried my baby till week 8, heard strong heartbeat, but found out baby was in my tube. I had to remove her. Somehow I feel it is a baby girl. I would have given anything, anything, to keep her alive but I had no choice. The Doctor told me not to think of it like an abortion, how not to? She is all well and alive in me but I allowed the doctor to take her away. I lost one tube in the process. Like you, I prayed alot during that period until the surgery. And then my faith was shakened and I did not go back to church. It has been 9 months since that fateful day. I thought I am doing well but each time a friend announces her pregnancy, the pain just all comes back fresh and raw again. Like you, I do not want to talk to friends, or family. They cannot understand. I am also seeing doc TSB and keeping my fingers crossed. I'm slowly back to prayers and faith and my thoughts are with you, fellow angel mummy. God gives his hardest battles to his strongest warriors. Stay strong. xx AM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown30 April 2015 at 17:45

      Dear Anonymous, Thank you for stopping by and leaving an encouraging message. I am sorry for digging up your wounds but if th embryo is implanted in the tube, the embryo would still grow and develop a heartbeat? I tried to google but could hardly find any info on it. You take care!

      Delete
  10. Anonymous1 May 2015 at 05:00

    Hi.. Yes the embryo was in my tube and growing. It is life threatening because if discovered late, the tube may rupture, cause internal bleeding and may lead to death. Google Ectopic Pregnancy.. I truly admire your strength and perseverance. And sincerely sincerely pray that you will fulfil your wish very soon. March on sister and know that you are not alone. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown1 May 2015 at 17:56

      I see... Initially, I thought only the womb can grow the embryo because of some special blood vessels function. But that's very layman knowledge. Aiyo my first period after the surgery hasn't arrive. Supposed to see prof biswas if it hasn't arrive in mid April. But work has been busy. Okay excuses, just feel sian to see.

      Delete

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