Land of Lemons

It was the time of the month again! Not my period but my monthly appointment with Dr Tan Siew Buoy. I arrived at 5.10 pm and oh gosh! i WAITED until 6.30 pm for my turn. I overheard her clear voice in the waiting area. I like to call it a holding area because it was very narrow. She was speaking very slowly to every patient. I passed my time playing Fun Run and connecting the crosses on my chart. I felt uncomfortable because I was holding my pee. My period has not arrived and I knew in my guts that she would ask me to take the pregnancy test - her famous $3.50 pregnancy test which I rejected before and got chided. So, I knew that I would have to take the test later and I would need my pee. Interestingly, the patient before me also needed to take a pregnancy test. I heard some exclamation from the doctor and the patient went out of the consultation room with a plastic cup. While the patient went to take the test in the toilet obviously, I was directed into the consultation room. ...

Okay. Let's face it. I have not been able to get pregnant since last May 2013. That means 17 months. I started seeing Dr Tan Siew Buoy in July. That means I have seen her for 15 months. Let's do the counting. First 3 months after May - Tiao body and she says do not try yet Sept and Oct - Emotionally not ready so I did not really had intercourse over an intensive period. Only on and off That leaves us with 10 months. In Nov, I was sick. 9 months left. I went overseas. I was very sick and developed asthma. I took asthma inhalers for 3 months which messed up my cycles. 6 months Because I did not take the inhalers, I was sick for 2 months although my cycles were not very far off. 4 months Out of 4 months, 2 months, I missed the golden days that she circled for intercourse because I was freaking tired and super no mood on those days. That leaves us with 2 months. Out of 2 months, I fell sick and had high fever during one month. Last month My mum contracte...

I just returned from KKH after visiting my Mom. She has been warded for 10 days for removing her uterus with the growth and her lymph nodes. It has been one hell of a journey. For the first 9 days, she was freaking out and frail and in pain while being hooked up to various tubes. She was scared and nice. Today she got better and returned to her usual antsy self, berating at my tired father and to the rest of us, very rude and unappreciative of our daily visits. I was tired, disappointed and sad. During her terrible ordeal of receiving news of her cancer, enduring the operation and subsequently ileus, she accepted Christ. How do you accept Christ? Basically, you just have to say a simple prayer. I will write a post on how to receive Christ.  How to receive Christ?  She prayed to God every time she felt fear and during her hospital stay, she prayed for God to help her out of difficult situations. We are still unsure if she need further treatment like chemotherapy. The doctor ...

Have you ever read Harry Porter? The characters always referred to the most evil wizard as "He who must not be named" because they were so frightened of him. In our modern day context, the word that no one wants to hear or say is CANCER. Today is a dark dark day. We went to KK hospital with my mum to receive her biopsy results. My sister and I were mentally prepared because it was odd for the hospital to want to see us if it is benign. True enough, the word that we do not want to say or hear was uttered by the doctor. "Auntie, yes it is cancer but do not worry. I have done this for many years. I will help you" were the first words the doctor uttered when he sat her down. After the diagnosis, a dark cloud had decided to hang over my head and everything was tinted with black. Outwardly, we appeared strong for my mum but inwardly, I wanted to curse and swear. Once again, why us? The doctor did not share much about the biopsy results. I was thinking it could be ...

Written by reader Joshua We have gone through all the steps with PC Wong (3 times IVF). Even pc wong cannot tell us why it didnt work. He said after the insertion process, it is up to God. He suggest to do ivf together with acupuncture. We also visited Sinshe Ms Tan Siew Buoy, Sinshe Dr Tan Kian Seng also in between. All with no luck. We tried Sinshe Tan Siew Lan also. We had our first pregnancy in 2005, but there was no heart beat in week 8. We had our second pregnancy during our consultation with Sinshe Tan Siew Lan (forgot the year but before IVF), but there was a problem with the pregnancy as the embrio has no skull (anenchepaly) and we had no choice but to do abortion. There is no test for the first failed pregnancy. The gynae told us to try again. On second failed pregnancy, the gynae did suggest to do chromosome test but me and my wife feel that we should not proceed with the test and keep on trying.I have low sperm motility. I really wish I can do something but th...

When I woke up in the morning, I took my temperature and realised that it had dipped to 36.6 (look at the graph from the smart app "Fertility Friend"), I felt disappointment creeping into my otherwise, well rested body. Dipping around Day 30 always means an impending period. Yesterday night, by 10pm, my body shut down and I slumped my body on my bed. I realised that it is not the number of hours that matters but the time that you sleep. If I sleep at 12 and wake up at 8, it is not as refreshing as sleeping at 10 and waking up at 6.  I brushed my teeth and drank water. I sat down on the sofa, still thumping the disappointment down. "Hey, 36.6 is not that bad. Don't think so much," I consoled myself. I switched on the fan and the cold wind blew. I took my phone and checked Facebook as if it was my morning devotional material.  "Ah another friend is expecting and is hinting online," I whispered in my head. I didn't bother to wri...

I have just gotten back from two short trips back to back and felt so refreshed! For the first trip, I went back to Sentosa and had such a fun and relaxing time with my husband. We stayed in Siloso Resort and the environment is soooo perfect for a romantic romp under the sheets. Everyday, we swam, relaxed, ate nice meals. It happened to be during my ovulation period and I am trying my utmost best not to stress myself by wanting to get pregnant - so I am going to practise affirming myself and visualise positive things. Affirming myself aloud ...  My ovaries are healthy. I do not have PCO. My ovaries are releasing an egg every month. I WILL become pregnant when the environment is conducive. (I watched LUCY the movie and I was so awe struck by what the professor said - when the environment in living things is conducive, the cells multiply and living things start to reproduce offsprings to pass on the information in the form of DNA. When the environment is not conducive, the cells ...